My advice to single ladies part 2
Advice #2. Work on your confidence & health, (real talk) helping your appearance isn’t a bad thing…
Most of the posts I’ve read from these christian singles deal a lot with self-worth and self confidence. I certainly have my fair share of body issues, we all do. But (ok, here’s where the lynching mob comes) I can truthfully say, that if I was single…there’s no way I wouldn’t be working on getting my body to it’s best possible shape, (I’m currently working on that now, anyways). For starters, if you do get married, you want to look good. And there’s just no going around how visual, humans are, call it superficial if you will but, 10 years ago (many pounds ago for both of us) I don’t know that the initial attraction would have been there if my hubs or myself was 50 lbs heavier. That first “impression” if you will. Attraction is a big deal. It just is. Don’t you want to present yourself in the best way possible? I know we all have things we can’t change (save for plastic surgery) but losing weight is attainable for most people…and I’m sure plenty of woman can testify that being active, eating clean and yes, losing weight does wonders for your confidence. And confidence, is extremely sexy. And (real moment) you are going to have sex with this person…so therefore if there is something you can do to make a larger group of people find you physically attractive…is that a bad thing? ok moving on.
Advice #3. Every battle is unique, single or married
It goes back to the whole, be careful what you wish for… I would rather be unmarried than in a forced relationship, one where you don’t really jive and it’s just harder than it needs to be. Marriage is hard, being single is hard, being a mother is hard, difficulty getting pregnant..it’s hard too and the path I’m walking now. We each walk through different struggles and different battles, so please don’t “hate” on those whom you feel are living the life you deserve.
Also, semi related side note, I don’t believe there only one soulmate for every person, I really don’t. I think that we are each on a journey, the decisions we make and paths we take, shape who we are as people. I think that on every fork in the road, there are people that would be perfect for you, but fast forward a year or 2, that may not be the case, in cases of purity, that can be especially true. That sounds like a case for divorce I see, but here’s where it changes. As a single, one other person’s feelings aren’t our top priority, it’s just Us and God. Once you are married, well, you have to care what they think! I think I am a different person (personality and all) because I am married. I also think I would be a different person and be in a different place, had I married someone else. When I first met my now, husband, he wasn’t saved. If he had remained stubborn and didn’t accept Christ, there’s no way we would be married now. So as seasons weather and change you, you grow, but when you value the other person as equal, nay, above yourself, well, you grow towards them…if that makes sense? I think this ties into the whole every battle is unique because well, maybe the person you think you want to marry isn’t ultimately who you will. Maybe a few more life decisions have to present themselves before you are at that place. Maybe, there is someone who would be perfect for you but something has to change before the physical attraction is there. Or maybe these two points have not as much to do with each other as they do in my head!
So there is my sisterly “straight talk” I’d tell my sister if she were wanting to get married.