Being Single (a married woman’s perspective) Part 2

My advice to single ladies part 2

Advice #2. Work on your confidence & health, (real talk) helping your appearance isn’t a bad thing…

Most of the posts I’ve read from these christian singles deal a lot with self-worth and self confidence. I certainly have my fair share of body issues, we all do. But (ok, here’s where the lynching mob comes) I can truthfully say, that if I was single…there’s no way I wouldn’t be working on getting my body to it’s best possible shape, (I’m currently working on that now, anyways). For starters, if you do get married, you want to look good. And there’s just no going around how visual, humans are, call it superficial if you will but, 10 years ago (many pounds ago for both of us) I don’t know that the initial attraction would have been there if my hubs or myself was 50 lbs heavier. That first “impression” if you will. Attraction is a big deal. It just is. Don’t you want to present yourself in the best way possible? I know we all have things we can’t change (save for plastic surgery) but losing weight is attainable for most people…and I’m sure plenty of woman can testify that being active, eating clean and yes, losing weight does wonders for your confidence. And confidence, is extremely sexy. And (real moment) you are going to have sex with this person…so therefore if there is something you can do to make a larger group of people find you physically attractive…is that a bad thing? ok moving on.

Advice #3. Every battle is unique, single or married

It goes back to the whole, be careful what you wish for… I would rather be unmarried than in a forced relationship, one where you don’t really jive and it’s just harder than it needs to be. Marriage is hard, being single is hard, being a mother is hard, difficulty getting pregnant..it’s hard too and the path I’m walking now. We each walk through different struggles and different battles, so please don’t “hate” on those whom you feel are living the life you deserve.

Also, semi related side note, I don’t believe there only one soulmate for every person, I really don’t. I think that we are each on a journey, the decisions we make and paths we take, shape who we are as people. I think that on every fork in the road, there are people that would be perfect for you, but fast forward a year or 2, that may not be the case, in cases of purity, that can be especially true. That sounds like a case for divorce I see, but here’s where it changes. As a single, one other person’s feelings aren’t our top priority, it’s just Us and God. Once you are married, well, you have to care what they think! I think I am a different person (personality and all) because I am married. I also think I would be a different person and be in a different place, had I married someone else. When I first met my now, husband, he wasn’t saved. If he had remained stubborn and didn’t accept Christ, there’s no way we would be married now. So as seasons weather and change you, you grow, but when you value the other person as equal, nay, above yourself, well, you grow towards them…if that makes sense? I think this ties into the whole every battle is unique because well, maybe the person you think you want to marry isn’t ultimately who you will. Maybe a few more life decisions have to present themselves before you are at that place. Maybe, there is someone who would be perfect for you but something has to change before the physical attraction is there. Or maybe these two points have not as much to do with each other as they do in my head!

So there is my sisterly “straight talk” I’d tell my sister if she were wanting to get married.

Peace

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What people hate about the Bible

One of the great things about facebook is seeing friends that go to other churches post on various sermons and what not that you wouldn’t normally see. So a facebook rabbit hole later, I came across this video, part four of a sermon series that I think a lot of us can really relate to. “What People hate about the Bible”

so ya, watch it. I’ve only seen this one, I can assume parts 1-3 are pretty amazing too.

 

oh ya…so I haven’t posted in 4 months. oops. Life happens y’all. Life happens.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Your ‘about me’ is vague, why so anonymous?

As of right now, I plan on sharing as little about myself as possible. I really need to feel that anonymity in order to feel like I can say whatever I want about these subjects without fear of repercussion. I attended a state university, which across the board seem to be pretty democratic and liberal as it is (oh ya, I’m conservative, politically speaking, too) pare down to a design/art school which I attended. Creative degrees are even more liberal & democratic as a general rule. But I made it. I graduated and (as far as I know) not that many people hated me. Upon graduation, I find myself in the industry. which is (surprise, surprise) super liberal & democratic. Also in this creative field (and many others I’m sure) the lines between professional and personal get awfully blurry. Now my fellow alum, other connections, friends of friends, professors, past and present co-workers and employers. All these people in this creative industry who are (in general) super liberal & democratic.

See where I’m coming from? I feel trapped in my social media: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest even. I feel scrutinized and under the light, like I can’t say what I want. And in this community where I’m trying to make a living, is a community where people can, do and have been blacklisted, everything is about who you know and how much they like you.

I have no proof of this and yes, maybe it’s reaching but I was let go at a job. I was there for under a year, and the reason I was “let go” was financial. I was blessed and got a job immediately (literally started the monday after my last day of friday, Praise Jesus.) And it wasn’t until a few months later that I questioned the validity of it. Because a few months later, my boss hired someone else. Someone Democratic and liberal. You can’t say he didn’t know because my boss (being the outspoken small biz owner he is) literally asked me in my interview three laughable inappropriate questions. 1. My Political stance, 2. My religious beliefs and 3. “I see you’re married, you aren’t going to get pregnant soon are you?” 1. Republican 2. Christian and 3. Umm…Not planning on it? With each of the first 2 answers he responded with oh, we’re all Obama lovers here, and oh, we’re all atheists here. Concerting yes, but I still wanted the job and he hired my anyways, I was my non-confrontation self, I had a few meaningful conversations when my co-workers asked, and I made no attempts at hiding my beliefs but I was definitely passive about it.

Regardless, if I had thought about being more outspoken religiously or politically in social media or “creative” social situations, that was now squelched.

John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Hello World

well hi blogisphere,

I have a feeling a lot of these posts, rants and thoughts are going to feel like me yelling into a canyon. Not a echo canyon mind you, like the grand canyon. So hi, I’m K. and I’m a 20-something christian woman, living in this world that, well, seems to hate me. I’ve become increasingly pushed out of any semblance of a comfort zone and I kinda hate it. Lots of things make me uncomfortable, worried, nervous and as a friend of mine would say “anxiety level of 10.” I’m learning to be ok with that and I decided last night to start a blog voicing some of my ideas. and I choose this anonymous site because (honestly) I’m too afraid of confrontation to post on my facebook.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”